


Electric Feelings

by 50Lizardsinatrenchcoat



Series: Ping AU [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Chronic Pain, Episode: ACCEPTING ANXIETY Part 2/2: Can Anxiety Be Good?, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Isolation, Synesthesia, Tags Are Hard, it's mostly positive and honestly more of a sequel hook than anything, kind of, slightly open ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21538921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50Lizardsinatrenchcoat/pseuds/50Lizardsinatrenchcoat
Summary: For all his harsh exterior amounted to, feeling anxiety as electric shocks left Virgil feeling frustrated and alone.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Everyone
Series: Ping AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1548364
Comments: 2
Kudos: 131





	Electric Feelings

It's easy to tell when no one wants you around when you can feel their anxiety in the most literal way possible.

Show up unexpectedly, making all the other sides jump out of their skin? A jolt raced up Virgil's arms. Stand on their stairs and cut in with a scathing remark whenever someone wants to ignore reality? A constant buzz just below painful camped out in his skull, sharpening into spikes of electricity when he opened his mouth. Why did his ping have to be _painful_ of all things?

Even when he wasn't around the other sides, tremors rippled under Virgil's skin from their distress about existing in everyday life. Alone? Pain. With the others? Pain. Trying to help? _Pain._ It always got worse when he stormed into the living room, ready to shut down the latest in a long line of ideas steeped in danger.

Like all the other times, the Light Sides ganged up on him and shut him down instead. 

Virgil felt a twinge in his chest, and not just from the electricity. He frowned and left for his room.

It's not like he expected any other outcome, but it still hurt. Estranged from the Dark Sides and regarded coldly by the Light, Virgil was left in the middle and cut off from both.

He slumped onto his bed and contemplated his options. 

One, crawl back to the Dark Sides and beg them to take him back. Only Deceit and Remus liked him. Bad idea for far too many reasons. Next. 

Two, reach out to the Light Sides and try to establish an open line of communication. Virgil's heart jackhammered in his chest at the mere thought. He winced. Good thing he couldn't feel his own anxiety, or he would've fried his brain by now. Next.

Three, continue onwards, business as usual. The safe option, but a draining one. Putting in everything he had and getting scorn thrown back in his face wore down on Virgil's spirit. When two forces meet, the stronger prevails and the weaker crumbles. Virgil feared he may be the weaker force. Something had to give… which lead him to the fourth option.

Four. Duck out.

He first considered it several weeks ago and immediately banished any thoughts of it from his head. He was a _side_ , he had a purpose to fulfill. Dropping off the map couldn't solve his problems.

And yet there he was, curled up on his bed and wondering what he did wrong. 

His muscles buzzed as he broke the link between him and the rest of the mind.

Virgil let the shadows deepen around him as the electricity that plagued his senses abruptly cut off for the first time in his memory.

He felt nothing, inside and out. He closed his eyes and let the darkness wash over him.

An indiscernible amount of time later, small tingles started in his fingers and crept up his arms, growing sharp and forcing Virgil to be pointedly aware of their presence.

"What are you doing in my room?!" He snarled at the invading sides. A shock clipped through his torso. Virgil gritted his teeth at the sudden offense from the other's fear.

He lashed out. Virgil wanted a verbal war, anything to justify his feelings of anger at the world and himself. But he wasn't mad at Patton, Logan mediated, and Roman…

He reached out. The building electric current in Virgil's bones gave way to a still offer for peace.

The offer hung in the air.

The walls of resolve Virgil built around his heart crashed down. Virgil slumped in the rubble, but the people who cared about him lead him from twilight into the sun.

Things would always be different in Virgil's head, but he could endure himself and the electricity for the sake of his family.

(He's going to be fine. He has to be.)

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me [on my Tumblr!](https://void-and-ideas.tumblr.com/) I talk about Sanders Sides and I also post all my fics and art there.


End file.
